Be strong

Geo,

I was not in a very good condition in past several weeks to reply. Don’t be offended please.

One thing I learned is that nothing prepares a person to deal with this no matter how prepared you think you are. As someone who has beyond fair share of witnessing people died of many causes … I understand the inevitability. Yet, the deeper the connection you have with your loved one, the harder it is to “let go”.

Thanks to my mentor who went thru something similar many years ago, I learned to put in place a new structure in life which is necessary because as a caregiver, we are used to put all our focus on taking care of our love. But once that stopped, our life hallow out and can easily lead to extreme emotional swings. By diving into this new schedule with focus on my physical and mental health, I am bouncing back much faster than most people. That, however, is not good enough to stop the thoughts completely.

In love is very much like an addiction and cannot be stopped easily. It takes great effort to be able to remember but not falling into sadness. “Letting go” is a very Asian philosophy – the ultimate goal is to cherish the memories, not forgetting them. I am still learning.

I know about your situation so take good care of yourself. You know where to find me when you need to.

Lawrence